I promise you are not alone if you feel like your life as a mom, wife, and entrepreneur can get a little out of control.
This is why I invited Rebekah Lara on the podcast. She helps mompreneurs manage their busy lives and calm the chaos with organizational systems, goal setting, and mindset hacks.
In this episode, we talk about:
- What it’s like when you have child who goes through a serious health crisis
- If you can really be a busy mom and build a successful online business
- Why you want to write down your goals and get specific
- How to work in 12-week sprints
- Why you always need a Plan A and a Plan B
- How to move the needle in your business and set yourself up for success even when things feels chaotic
If you feel like you’re burning the candle at both ends as an online entrepreneur and a busy mom, this is the episode for you!
Table of Contents
- Catch My Party
- MiloTree Pop-Up App
- Rebekah Lara
- Thriving Mamas Facebook Group
- The 12-Week Year
- Personality Quiz: What Digital Product Should I Create?
- Join My Blogger Genius Email List
- Become a Blogger Genius Facebook Group
- MiloTreeCart Affiliate Program
- All Blogger Genius Podcast Episodes
*Some links may be affiliate.
Subscribe to the Blogger Genius Podcast:
Welcome to the Blogger Genius Podcast brought to you by MiloTree. Here’s your host, Jillian Leslie.
Jillian Leslie 0:11
Hello, my friends. Welcome back to the Blogger Genius Podcast. I’m your host, Jillian Leslie, and I am so happy that you’re joining me. I’m a blogger and a serial entrepreneur. My husband and I started our journey with Catch My Party.
We launched it in 2009. And we’ve grown it into the largest party ideas site on the web, if you need party ideas or free printables go head over there.
Then we built our pop-up app called MiloTree, which we built for ourselves to grow our Pinterest followers and Instagram followers and you can use it, install it on your blog, and you can grow your TikTok followers, Facebook, YouTube, your email is super optimized.
And most recently, we’ve launched MiloTreeCart. And it is so exciting for me it is my new baby with MiloTreeCart, you can sell any sort of digital product. And it is the easiest platform to use. We built it for beginners and non-techies. And it is so cool to see how you our customers are using it.
So, in the beginning, what I saw showing up were eBooks or guides those kinds of things in a price range of anywhere from $5 to $27. And then I noticed that certain products were becoming more and more expensive, and that you were leaning into selling different kinds of digital products.
And now, I’m seeing people selling things like $500 masterminds, or coaching calls that are $350, or packages that are $1,200. And this is exactly what I talk about. You are building a digital product empire, it might start with a $5 ebook, but then you see it working and you start to get creative.
And I can see you creating these relationships with your customers and then being able to roll out these more expensive value-add products and services. So, keep it up. I’m in your corner. I love what you guys are doing.
For today’s episode. I have Rebekah Lara on the podcast. And what she does is she coaches people on how to calm the chaos, how to simplify our personal lives and our business lives. And I love this quote that is on her website. She says, “I eat difficult life circumstances for breakfast.”
If you feel like your life is a little out of control. You will love this episode. Plus, Rebekah gets personal and shares some of the challenges that she and her family went through what that was like what she learned from it, and how she’s moved forward.
Plus, she shares lots of great business tips on how to get stuff done. I think you’re going to like this episode; I think you will find it emotional and useful. So, without further delay, here is my interview with Rebekah Lara.
Rebekah, welcome to the Blogger Genius Podcast.
Rebekah Lara 3:24
Thank you so much for having me.
Jillian Leslie 3:26
You are somebody who is a busy mom, and works with busy moms. So, would you share your entrepreneurial journey?
Rebekah Lara 3:37
I certainly, will. My journey is not typical, but I’m sure a lot of us can relate to that. I am a former architect and middle school math teacher who started a family. I was caught up in the corporate world for a while and I realized that wasn’t for me because I wanted to start a family and so working long hours wasn’t my goal.
After we started having our children, we realized actually that they had health conditions that required a lot of care and plus specialist visits and a lot of things that prevented me from being able to work a nine to five. I thought I would just take a little bit of time off and you know how that goes.
Jillian Leslie 4:24
When did you first start having kids how many years ago?
Rebekah Lara 4:27
My first daughter was born in 2009. I was still working as a teacher for a while until my second daughter was born in 2012. And I thought I’d take a year off from teaching because this is my second career now and then our third daughter was born 13 months later. So, I didn’t return to teaching and like I said they had health needs that then took over.
Jillian Leslie 4:55
Do you mind sharing what kind of health problems?
What Happens When You Have a Child with Serious Health Crisis
Rebekah Lara 4:58
I don’t. Initially, we had a lot of problems with food allergies and GI disorders and things that were undiagnosed. Two of my daughters had been on feeding tubes because of the severity of the feeding disorders. And we spent a lot of time just trying to figure out what was going on.
And that was 100% of my energy, my time. And obviously, it was very important. And over time, we got to managing things better, but it still involved a lot of therapies and visits. And so, I didn’t return to work, like I said, and my priority was to be at home with my kids, and I loved it, and I was glad I could be there for them.
Fast forward, my daughter, my first daughter went into acute liver failure in 2018. In the middle of a playdate on my birthday. Totally out of the blue.
Jillian Leslie 5:55
How old was she?
Rebekah Lara 5:53
She was eight at the time. And she just came downstairs from playing dolls and said, “Mom, I don’t feel good.” “Okay, why don’t you sit on the couch for a minute, let’s figure out what’s going on.” And she began vomiting. And I was like, oh darn, a stomach bug or whatever. And I’m worried about it, giving it to her friend.
And after a few days, it wasn’t resolving. And we took her the emergency room, and she was in liver failure. I still get goosebumps as I say this story, even though it’s been like five years now. We’re just coming up on her five-year anniversary of getting sick, and she ended up being hospitalized for 74 days.
Jillian Leslie 6:40
Wait, 74 days.
Rebekah Lara 6:43
74 days, she was in the pediatric intensive care unit for four weeks on life support in a medically induced coma. All of her organs failed.
Jillian Leslie 6:54
What happened? What was that?
Rebekah Lara 6:57
Nobody knows. That’s the lovely part of this. We went through so many tests and so many doctor visits. But the end of the day, we don’t know why her liver stopped working. But your liver filters, your toxins. So, toxins were abundant in her body and so everything was shutting down.
They had to put her in a medically induced coma, put her on a ventilator, life support all the stuff. We didn’t know if she would make it she was on the liver transplant list. And it was just a huge blow. And thankfully, her liver recovered on its own. As quickly as it started, it went away. And it was just the rest of her body that took a long time to recover after that.
Her kidneys failed. Her lungs failed, she ended up being on supplemental oxygen for three and a half years. She was in a wheelchair, the feeding tube was already there, it was just everything her whole body needed support. So clearly, that was my priority for a long time. But the caregiving piece of it was intense.
As you can imagine, we ended up having an overnight nurse in our home for three years to help us because she needed 24-hour care. I was her nurse during the day, the actual nurse would be here so I could sleep. And it was life changing, and also really hard as someone who was career driven.
I always been career driven. And I found joy and passion in what I was doing. So, after a while there was burnout for sure, as a caregiver, so I started blogging, that was my way of having a creative outlet.
Jillian Leslie 8:53
Were you blogging about what was going on? Or were you blogging about gardening tip?
Rebekah Lara 9:00
No, it was completely different. I actually had an eco-friendly blog. Part of my daughter’s not the critical illness, but there are other illnesses are related to allergies. And so, I learned over time about clean living and trying to get them healthier. I became passionate about removing toxins from our home. And so, that was my blog.
Jillian Leslie 9:22
Wow. Can I just say how is your daughter doing now? So, five years passed this major health crisis?
Rebekah Lara 9:32
Yes, she is doing so amazing. Now you would never know if she walked in the room, you would have no idea that she was so ill. She is free of oxygen free of her feeding tube. She’s on a competitive swim team, which is just a miracle to say that out loud. Because I never knew what her future would hold after that happened to her. We are beyond blessed.
I have goosebumps all over my body still, as I say this. we are coming up March 1st will be the five-year anniversary. And she’s doing amazing. She still has chronic medical needs; we still visit probably 12 specialists a year to make sure that she continues to thrive. But yeah, we were so thankful.
Jillian Leslie 10:19
Do they give her applause when she comes in?
Rebekah Lara 10:24
Some of the doctors, everyone knows her. She’s a miracle. In hindsight, the nurses in the PICU, if you’re never familiar with being in an intensive care unit, you get a nurse that’s assigned just to your daughter or your patient. And so, you get to know them really, really well. And they were like, she’s a miracle. Literally, your daughter defied the odds.
They told me that after the fact. But yes, everyone is so thrilled for her. And it’s amazing. She’s my inspiration. My daughter is the toughest girl you’ll ever meet. Never complains about anything she’s been through.
And in fact, I wrote a chapter in a multi author book called “Lessons From My Daughter,” because she’s literally my biggest teacher. I’ve learned so much through the experience.
Jillian Leslie 11:18
Oh, thank you for sharing that story. I too, have goosebumps right now.
Rebekah Lara 11:22
It was life changing in so many ways. That’s what my business was for.
Jillian Leslie 11:30
Exactly. So, you start this eco-friendly blog on how to get the toxins out of your house and how to live a healthier life? And where does that lead you?
Starting a Blog as a Creative Outlet
Rebekah Lara 11:41
Like I said, it was started out just as a hobby, a creative outlet for myself. And then I realized, oh, bloggers make money. And just one thing led to another and I’m like, oh, maybe this could be my way to work from home because I can’t return to a nine to five still.
And from there, just one thing to another. But my background, like I said in being an architect, I was a project manager. I’ve always loved and been good at organizing and digital stuff. And just making things simple.
And especially given my home circumstances with my family, things have to be simple for me and streamline so that I can actually make it happen. So, that’s where my current business was born. Because people would always say to me, how do you do it? Literally, how do you do it? And I’m like, “That’s a good question.”
And so, I just became passionate, and not only helping busy moms and entrepreneurs figure out how to simplify things, and systematize things. But also to help women realize that they can still pursue their dreams and their goals, even if they’re a mom, and they’re busy with caring for their children and their family.
Jillian Leslie 12:56
That is, again, very inspiring. And it’s funny, because I do think that when you become a mom, everything shifts it did for me. And I’ve spoken to so many women who have said the same thing. And I felt purpose, like I never felt before. And it was like stepping into a role I wasn’t prepared for. Because I like you was very career focused.
And I had a whole life before my daughter was born. And then all of a sudden, I remember being introduced as Lainey’s mom. And I was like, wow, that feels very limiting. All my whole experience is I’m Lainey’s mom, I don’t even have a name.
Rebekah Lara 13:44
Exactly. I can relate to that, totally.
Jillian Leslie 13:46
And then we too started Catch My Party. And then also, I found that people did not understand what I did. And they thought what I did was cute. So, Lainey’s mom has a cute little business and stuff. And I was like, whoa, I’m a full- fledged woman and so trying to find that balance in the beginning for me was difficult.
Rebekah Lara 14:10
Yes, I can totally relate to that.
Jillian Leslie 14:14
When somebody comes to you, and says, I want to start something on the side, but I am a busy mom, what do you say to them?
How to Run a Successful Online Business as a Busy Mom
Rebekah Lara 14:25
I tell them it is definitely possible. I also try to remind my clients that you don’t have to work fast all the time. A lot of us have these wonderful ideas and we’re inspired to start our businesses and they want to get running right away from zero to 60.
But I try to help them create a routine and a system that’s sustainable so that you can start and grow your business while also still being a present mom. So, that you get to be present in both areas and not burnout for hustle in the process.
Jillian Leslie 15:04
I also think that there is this push-pull, I want something that I own, that’s me that’s that separate from my family and being a mother being a caregiver, I want to have a place that I can have. That’s all like, I’ve carved out just for me. And yet, I feel all of these pressures.
And third, I have a vision in my mind of how beautiful it’s all going to be.
Rebekah Lara 15:37
Jillian Leslie 15:39
How it never works like that.
Rebekah Lara 15:41
It starts off, like we have these ideals and this vision, like you said, and I actually advise my clients to really keep developing and tapping into their vision to remember why they’re doing what they’re doing. Because we get sidetracked or we get caught up in all the shiny objects and the squirrels and thinking that we have to do all the things.
I have to be in all the social media platforms, and I have to be doing all the things and that’s where burnout comes. And so, I like to remind women that we’re building our business to support the lifestyle. We want to support our family’s vision too. This is supposed to help lead to time and income freedom.
Jillian Leslie 16:28
Exactly. Like we’re shackled. I send questions before we get on a call, and it’s just a guide, but one of the questions that I wrote to you was, “it possible to be a busy mom and actually grow a successful business?” What is your answer to that?
To Have Success You Must be Intentional
Rebekah Lara 16:48
My answer is yes. But it takes intentionality. Intentional with your time because a lot of us, especially given my history of what I just shared, we react to everything around us. We react to the emails we get in our inbox, and the phone calls and the school needing our help or volunteer, our husbands or whoever, everyone is asking for our time and our energy.
And so being intentional in my version of it is getting clear on what’s most important. So, back to the school example. I’m a former teacher, volunteering in the school is important. It’s important work, but I can’t do that, and build a business with young kids. So, just getting really clear on what’s most important in this season of your life.
And only saying yes to those things. Because when we say yes to volunteering in the school, for example, we’re saying no, to growing the business, at least that day. Our priority goes to whatever we’re saying yes to.
So, just getting really intentional about what we say yes to even if it’s not an out loud, yes, like the decisions we make for ourselves in our day. And what you can say, politely decline, or save for another time in your life or another time in your year.
Jillian Leslie 18:20
I hear two things from what you’re saying. And one is a mother, my daughter now is 15. And I’ve seen this happen. And people have told me this, and I didn’t believe it. But there are seasons as your kids get older. That first year was so difficult for us. Not that my daughter had health issues. But she was a difficult baby.
Everybody is saying this is such a beautiful time. And I’m thinking this is not a beautiful time. This is like I’ve had no sleep. And I feel a little crazy. And I don’t relate to the moms who say, “Oh, it was such a wonderful year.” And so, I didn’t know that it was going to last about a year.
Rebekah Lara 19:02
It feels like forever.
Jillian Leslie 19:06
Exactly. And I didn’t know that I would be coming back to me in a different way. I’m never back to who I was before having my daughter, but that it evolves. And now she’s in high school. And it’s like, “Oh, I do have a lot more of my time back.”
And it’s hard to remember because it just slides, like the years just go by. What I was able to do when she was two versus what I’m able to do now that she is 15 are very different. And so, these times where you feel so stretched for time, they do change.
And now by the way, she’s 15 and I’m getting wistful, because we’re almost done with this intensive time. And I could never have thought that I would feel this way I thought oh my God I could barely get through the day. If I got a shower and that was amazing.
So, please do know if you’re listening to this. And you’re in that time where it feels endless and difficult and you can’t get a shower in it will change.
Rebekah Lara 20:12
Jillian Leslie 20:14
And then the other thing that I heard you say, is work on setting boundaries.
Work On Setting Boundaries
Rebekah Lara 20:25
Yes. Yes, exactly. Time boundaries, energy boundaries. And that’s only possible when you’re clear on what’s most important in your life.
Jillian Leslie 20:37
Give me an example. You’re working with me? How do you get me clear to start this journey?
Rebekah Lara 20:46
Great question. First step is what do you ultimately want from life? We all think about it in the back of our heads, or someday would be nice if fill in the blank. But really like writing that down and getting clear on the ultimate vision.
Jillian Leslie 21:05
Can I say for freedom or do I need to say, I want a house in the mountains?
Rebekah Lara 21:10
More specific, yes.
Jillian Leslie 21:13
Money for college. I want money for college, I want to be able to take my family to Disney World.
Write Down What You Want and Why
Rebekah Lara 21:23
20 hours a week versus 40. I want to be able to travel, all those things that you dream, or I want to write a book, I want to build a business, whatever it is, because like you said, when the kids are really young, it all feels like someday, maybe I’ll be able to do that.
And we can’t do everything we want in those seasons, but we can at least get clear on where we’re headed, or where we want to head. And then it’s breaking that down. So, what about the next three years, what’s possible for me or the next year, depending if you have a newborn, like you said, time feels very different. And it feels like it’ll never change.
And what is possible in this season of my life, even for me, it was like when my daughter was so sick, or during the pandemic, things were different than they are now. So, what’s possible even if it’s one of my favorite scenes, or whatever that helped me was slow progress is still progress.
So, even if you’re in a phase of life, where you have a newborn or a sick child, you might not be able to do as much as you want right now. But what little things can you do that are going to help build that foundation and get you closer to your ultimate vision. And like I said, just getting really clear on where you want to go, helps you make those choices.
Jillian Leslie 22:26
So, let’s say I do want to start a business. One, how many hours do you think is the minimum that I need to really spend on this to create a business? And what kind of business should I start?
Rebekah Lara 22:54
That’s a great question. And I would probably reflect that back to the client. And just be realistic, like, how many hours can we find in your day to work on this? When the baby naps, do you have 30 minutes, you can set aside to work on this, even if it’s just 30 minutes a day to start.
Because like we said, there are seasons of life. It might just be 30 minutes now. But in a year, maybe you’re able to do an hour or two a day. That’s how it worked for me building my coaching business happened in the year of the pandemic 2020.
I’m sitting at a kitchen table with three daughters, all in elementary school. With four computers, including my own, they are remote learning, I’m building a business, I didn’t have a lot of time, you know what I mean? Devoted time, but I was able to start doing things then. And now that they’re back in school full time.
I’m so glad I started when I did, because I started researching, I started figuring out what do I want to do. Do I want to blog? Or do I want to coach? Those types of questions.
Start By Carving Out A little Bit of Time
And so, even if you can’t do everything you want to do, start in those pockets of time dreaming, researching, exploring, testing things out, because a lot of this, as you probably know is testing out what do I like and lean into what you’re good at.
Again, those boundaries don’t get caught up in what everyone else is doing. Just you know really lean into what you love doing and start doing a little bit.
Take My MiloTreeCart Digital Product Personality Quiz
I want to take a short break to say that if you have a blog and you are not selling products and services directly to your audience, you are missing out on a whole new revenue stream. You might say, that sounds cool. But I have no idea what kind of digital product to create.
No problem, I’ve got a quiz for you go to milotreecart.com/quiz. And it’s a personality quiz. And it will tell you what kind of digital product you should start with. Plus, there’s a worksheet, and a whole bunch of stuff to get you moving. So, to grab this head to milotreecart.com/quiz. And now back to the show.
Jillian Leslie 25:36
I feel like there is inherent conflict between my vision. I remember this for my daughter, she was like, three, and she couldn’t cut at all, I don’t know when you learn to cut, but she couldn’t cut with scissors. But she would have these ideas in her head of what you wanted to create. And they were magical. But she couldn’t even cut.
She would get so frustrated because the vision was so clear and terrific. And yet, she couldn’t even get off the ground with this. And I feel like there are some similarities with business building. I’m watching these bloggers and influencers on Instagram, and they have these businesses and their families look so beautiful.
And somehow, they’re able to create these, I want that. And then I start and I recognize it’s hard. I don’t really know what I’m doing. It’s really frustrating. I’m not getting any traction. And so, the difference between my vision and the reality, so great that I give up.
Surround Yourself with People on the Same Business Journey
Rebekah Lara 26:41
So, bridging the gap. I think things that have helped me and my clients, surrounding yourself with people on a similar journey, like in a similar stage.
And tuning out, sometimes those other people, like you hear people say, “Don’t compare your beginning to someone’s end.” So, sometimes you have to tune out those big, mega famous successful people for a while, it’s good to know that they’re there, it’s proof that it’s possible for anyone.
To come back into your current zone, and I have found it really valuable to have accountability groups or accountability partners, to keep me motivated. We’re on a similar journey at a similar stage and have similar goals.
And not only that, but you can bounce ideas off of each other because building an online business can be lonely, we’re in our home or office by ourselves. And so that can be really helpful, as well for that reason.
Jillian Leslie 27:50
Where do you recommend I meet those people?
Rebekah Lara 27:53
Great idea. There are so many online communities these days, coaching programs, small group coaching, Facebook groups, like my own, where we try to foster a community like that.
Jillian Leslie 28:07
What’s the name of your Facebook group?
Rebekah Lara 28:10
Thriving Mamas currently, and to help you calm the chaos and simplify life and business, that’s my goal. And just to give people the support that they need, so that they don’t feel so alone, and so overwhelmed, and there’s a place to go to ask the questions and remind you that there is a path and you can get there one step at a time.
Jillian Leslie 28:35
So, when I’m building my online business, there are so many things to do. Whether that be just installing a WordPress theme and social media and email marketing and content creation. How do you coach mimes on where to start or how to get traction in something? Because otherwise it’s overwhelming.
Figure Out Who You Want to Help and Attract Those People To You
Rebekah Lara 29:07
Yes, it definitely can be. I think the first step for most people is to figure out who they want to help. And then how to attract or find those people. So usually, I recommend, again, simplifying things.
So, what’s one social media platform that you enjoy being on that doesn’t drain you but fills you up hopefully, or that at least is neutral, and just focusing on one of those.
Whether it’s just Facebook or just TikTok, not trying to do all of them at once, but getting comfortable in one place at a time and just work on serving and helping and providing value to people and getting your message out there. With who you want to help.
Jillian Leslie 30:02
So, get clear, and probably my hunches, you would say, get into a very specific niche so that you understand who these people are. And go deep rather than broad.
Rebekah Lara 30:16
Jillian Leslie 30:17
And you’re saying the same thing with social media go deep rather than broad?
Plan Your Business in 12 Week Chunks
Rebekah Lara 30:21
Yes, because it’s just easier to be focused in one area at a time. I like to do my planning in 12-week chunks. And that allows me to really, focus in on just a few key things that I’m working on in those 12 weeks.
Jillian Leslie 30:43
So, walk me through what that means.
Rebekah Lara 30:45
It came from a book called, The 12-Week Year, if you’re not familiar with it. It is a process that I’ve tweaked for my own use. But the overall idea is what we talked about getting clear on your vision, clear on what you want, and then choosing what you’re going to focus on in those 12 weeks.
So, for example, I usually only set one to three goals for the 12 weeks. My daughter is a swimmer. So, it’s like an athlete, when they’re in practice, they focus on one stroke a week.
So, it’s like this week, we’re doing backstroke, next week we’re doing butterfly, because zoning in on those key areas, you get more momentum, and you make more progress faster than if you’re spread thin, and you’re trying to do all of them at once. Kind of the same idea in business.
So, for those 12 weeks, I’m only going to have one to three goals. And some of them might be personal, by the way. Sometimes it’s like building a better relationship with my husband, because we’re too busy to do date nights. Last year, for 12 weeks my goal was to have one date night per month, because with a sick kid, you don’t get out very often.
And then have obviously business goals, too. So it’s like, where are you going to zone in on? So, are you focused on attracting new clients or customers? Or are you focused on nurturing them and providing them value? Or are you focus these 12 weeks on selling your offers to them?
There can be some overlap, obviously, but the core of what you’re doing would be maybe in just one of those areas at a time. And then the next 12 weeks, you can shift to the next priority.
Jillian Leslie 32:36
Okay, first, I have to ask, how was the 12-week experiment having date nights?
Rebekah Lara 32:40
It was great. And I need to put that back in my next 12 weeks year. It fell off. It’s all about intentionality. And being aware or mindful of what’s most important. So, when that was literally on, I use Asana. That’s my project management tool.
When I would see that in writing, I would do it. And now that it’s not in writing, it’s like, oh, when was the last time we went on a date night? It’s been a while.
Jillian Leslie 33:08
Isn’t that so true. In terms of what you write down you are more apt to do then oh, what was that? So, you’re saying if you’re coaching me, and I’m busy, and you say, “In the next 12 weeks focus on three things.” I like that because it feels doable. So, if you say, “Okay,” now, would it be something like grow your Instagram?
Rebekah Lara 33:36
No, not that broad. It would be something like, post new content in your Facebook group twice a week. And you would commit to doing that for 12 weeks. That’s just an example.
Because all of us when we say something like grow our business or grow our Instagram account, and you write that down, and then you log into your computer and you see that you’re like, oh, how do I do that? You know, so then you start spinning like well, I don’t know the best way to grow my Instagram, what should I do?
Be Very Specific in Your 12-Week Goals and Evaluate Your Progress Weekly
And then all your time is spent confused. So, deciding ahead of time, how are you going to grow your Instagram account? So is it do one live video per week or go you know into your stories daily and post a video. Getting clear on what you think is going to help you grow the Instagram account and that’s what you write down?
Jillian Leslie 34:36
So, it’s not like work on my relationship with my husband. It’s go on a date night every week?
Rebekah Lara 34:41
Yes. So, when I wrote it, it said schedule monthly date night, and I wouldn’t check it off until the date night was planned and the babysitter was booked. And it worked because clearly now it’s not one of my goals and we haven’t been on a date night in several months.
Jillian Leslie 34:59
So, here’s a question. At the end of the 12 months, do you reassess? Do you go, okay, what worked? What didn’t work? What are my next goals?
Rebekah Lara 35:07
Yes. Part of the book, they advise you and I agree. There’s a weekly evaluation, you can get real detailed about it. I took a more laid back flexible approach. But yes, evaluating is key.
So even week-to-week, these are three questions I asked myself and I write in my journal every week, just what you said, what worked, what didn’t work, and what will I do differently. And it can be quick. You don’t have to spend a lot of time thinking about this, most of us can come up with those answers.
And then at the end of the 12 weeks, you can take a week to get more detailed about that evaluation, and start to plan the next 12 weeks. And I always say if something is not working, feel free to let it go. And test something new.
As an architect, I like to just think of things scientifically, and not to get so emotionally personal, if something didn’t work, it’s okay, that’s good information to have. Let me try something different. And that’s how I approach things.
Jillian Leslie 36:18
What I hear you saying, I feel this as a mother. So again, my daughter is 15. And to me, it feels like a blur. The pandemic feels like a blur, the whole thing. And I think there is something to parenthood, maybe it’s just life in general, where if you are not marking time.
Which is why I, with Catch My Party, especially I’m a big believer in milestones this year, versus next year, because otherwise, it is kind of a blur. And I think business building can become a blur. Like, oh, today I should do X or no, wait, I should do Y or I got caught up in an email, or maybe I see people doing this challenge with reels, and I should do that.
And it all just becomes mush. And maybe our default, especially as busy moms where, by the way, you don’t know you’re going to wake up in the morning and you have a plan and your kid gets sick. And not necessarily, let’s say, as sick as your kid did, but even like a cold or flu. And all of a sudden, your day is gone.
And all the things that you had planned are out the window, and you were eating the leftover mac and cheese feeling kind of really sick and bad. Like, oh, where you had planned a healthy meal that day. And that’s out the window. So, what I think is really good.
And like that I think that parenthood teaches you flexibility, because you cared like nothing else matters. However, I think it can bleed into the rest of your life. And then you’re kind of all mush. And I feel like what you’re saying is it is writing things down. It is having three goals.
It is putting intentionality and a vision of real concrete things that you are committing to it is about being very intentional about saying no to things. It’s a little bit like rising above and really planning things that you can control because it’s going to happen that your kid is going to get sick, and everything’s out the window.
Rebekah Lara 38:36
Yes. And I was just coaching on this today about someone asking how do you keep up when your kids are home sick? And then everything goes out the window, like you said, and yeah, if you’re that intentional about what you want to do with your week. I also recommend having a plan B.
Have a Plan B for When You Can’t Do Plan A
I have plan B all the time. Meaning, if things are going well plan A is what I have in my Asana account, like my to do list. And when they’re home sick, which happens all the time just for regular stuff. It’s like, what’s the bare minimum that I need to do this week? And that’s plan B.
So even when I can’t work two hours, or whatever your amount is? What’s at least one thing, that’s the most important thing to keep things going serving my clients, or following through on a workshop series I’m hosting.
Having that ahead of time, that plan B in your mind will help you in the chaos when the kid wakes up sick and you already know okay, well. We’re going to shift into plan B, this is what I’m going to do instead.
And giving yourself lots of grace, and allowing the flexibility and knowing that everything is not going to fall apart in one day, if your kids are home sick. Everything is going to be okay not layering on the guilt, or the judgment, or the shame or whatever we feel when we don’t get our to-do-list done, because that’s not going to help.
Just giving yourself grace that as soon as they’re better, you’re going to be able to pick up where you left off.
Jillian Leslie 40:14
How much of your coaching is mindset.
Rebekah Lara 40:19
A lot. People come to me, and I love systems, I love tools. I’m a geek, I’m an architect. And we’re all looking for the faster, easier way to do things, which I’m all for. I have lots of hacks, but I just wrote a post on this today. It’s not enough, that stuff is not enough.
So, 100% mindset has helped me more than anything, just to be okay when things don’t go as planned. Because, hello, I learned that lesson the hard way. And I know what’s most important now, and I know that I can do hard things. I have done hard things.
I am confident that I can get through my daughter’s cold or flu too. So, mindset is so important.
Jillian Leslie 41:11
And in closing, given that you went through hell with your daughter, what were the let’s say, three biggest learnings you got on the other side?
3 Biggest Life Lessons on Dealing with a Sick Child
Rebekah Lara 41:23
For sure, the number one thing is that I have the power to control how I react to my situations. I’ve been in a victim mentality a lot of my life. And that didn’t serve me. And I could have stayed there with my daughter’s illness to like why us, why her?
I learned that I get to choose what I think about this, I get to choose to be grateful for the other things that we do have going well, I could do get to choose how I react and respond to everything that’s going on in my life. And that has been so liberating, that I get goosebumps talking about that too. Because that’s, that’s the biggest thing.
I don’t know if anything else compares to that one.
Jillian Leslie 42:12
Wow. And did you figure that out at the end, or as you were going through?
Rebekah Lara 42:23
Definitely, as I was going through little bit at a time. It wasn’t like a light switch and everything was better. But just slowly over time realizing I could spend a lot of time in negativity, wondering why this is happening to us and life isn’t fair.
Also, we’ve been blessed with this chance to have her with us still and to make life more than it was and that’s just the direction I decided to take because this is my life. This is her one life. This is my one life. I want to make the most of it and I want to find joy along the way.
Jillian Leslie 43:03
That is so inspirational. Rebekah, if people want to reach out to you learn more about what you do and who you serve. How can they do that?
Rebekah Lara 43:16
I would love for that to happen you can find me on Instagram @the.rebekah.lara.
Jillian Leslie 43:22
Rebekah Lara 43:23
Yes, the.R-E-B-E-K-A-H.L-A-R-A. And then I spent a lot of time in my Facebook community Thriving Mamas to help you calm the chaos and simplify life and business.
Jillian Leslie 43:39
I have to say I have found this so inspirational. So, thank you so much for coming on the show.
Rebekah Lara 43:47
It was my pleasure. Thank you so much for having me.
Jillian Leslie 43:49
I hope you guys liked this episode. I first just loved when Rebekah shared that she wasn’t able to control her situation but she could start to control her response to that. I feel like I need that reminder all the time. So, thank you Rebekah.
Also, I love her idea of these 12-week intentional sprints to hold yourself accountable to what you want to achieve, but to set the bar low enough that you can actually achieve it and feel good about yourself.
And before I go, I wanted to say that if you know that you have solutions to problems your audience struggles with, turn those solutions into digital products. It could be an eBook, a guide, a workshop, a coaching call, all of those you can monetize.
If this sounds interesting, and you want to get on a call with me a free call to talk about it and we can brainstorm and I can hear what you want to build. Please head to milotree.com/meet because I would love to meet you. And I will see you here again next week.
Other Blogger Genius Podcast Episodes You’ll Like:
- How to Avoid These 10 Digital Product Mistakes with Jillian Leslie
- How to Nail Your Sales Message with Melissa Harstine
- How to Transform Your New Blog into an SEO Powerhouse with Kristi Dosh
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