#254: Get Unstuck in Your Life
Have you wondered how to get unstuck in your life? Do you feel like you need a new path, but don’t know what it looks like?
Today on the podcast, I’m interviewing mid-life coach, Suzy Rosenstein. Suzy helps women in mid-life figure out what they want, and how to use their inner wisdom to get up the courage to make changes.
In this episode, we discuss:
- How fear keeps us stuck
- How to hone in on what we really want
- How to identify our limiting thoughts and change them
- How to use stream of consciousness writing to get us in touch with ourselves
- And so much more!
If you are feeling like things aren’t going the way you’d like in your life, but you don’t know how to fix it, this is the episode for you!
Table of Contents
Show Notes:
- MiloTreeCart
- MiloTree Pop-Up App
- Suzy Rosenstein
- Personality Quiz: What Digital Product Should I Create?
- Become a Blogger Genius Facebook Group
- All Blogger Genius Podcast Episodes
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Intro 0:04
Welcome to the Blogger Genius Podcast brought to you by MiloTree. Here’s your host, Jillian Leslie.
Jillian Leslie 0:11
Hello, my friends. Welcome back to the Blogger Genius Podcast. I’m your host, Jillian Leslie. And I’m a blogger and serial entrepreneur, I build businesses. My husband, David, we started in 2009 with Catch My Party and have grown it into the largest party ideas site on the web.
Jillian Leslie 0:29
Then we created our MiloTree pop-up app to help bloggers grow their social media followers and email subscribers. And now we have rolled out MiloTreeCart, which is a way for you to sell digital products in the easiest way possible to your audience.
Jillian Leslie 0:47
In fact, right now, as I record this, it’s Saturday night of our Black Friday weekend. And I have to say it is so fun hearing from you interacting with you guys who are purchasing. I am so excited to see how you guys can explode your businesses in 2023. selling directly to your people.
Jillian Leslie 0:47
Now, if you missed our Black Friday special, don’t worry, just email me, let me know email me at jillian@milotree.com and I will see what I can do for you.
Jillian Leslie 1:21
For today’s episode, I have Suzy Rosenstein on the podcast. And Suzy is a coach. She coaches women in midlife as they go through the transition from being mothers, being career women being really busy to all of a sudden taking stock and figuring out what they’re going to do in the next half of their life.
Jillian Leslie 1:45
In the episode we talk a lot about limiting beliefs and how we hold ourselves back. And I feel like this is such a perfect time to release this episode because it’s the end of the year.
Jillian Leslie 1:55
I don’t know about you, but I get a little self-reflective, where I start to think about my year ahead and what this has been about and so hopefully you will find this episode as useful as I did.
Jillian Leslie 2:07
So, without further delay, here is my conversation with Suzy Rosenstein. Suzy, welcome to the Blogger Genius Podcast.
How to Get Unstuck in Your Life
Suzy Rosenstein 2:19
I am thrilled to be here. Thank you so much for inviting me.
Jillian Leslie 2:22
We met because you purchased MiloTreeCart. And we got on a call to talk about your business. And I thought it was so interesting that I said Suzy please come on my podcast.
Suzy Rosenstein 2:36
I love when the podcast universe and online marketing brings people together. I’ve met so many amazing people. And now you’re one of them too.
Jillian Leslie 2:45
Oh, thank you and you have a podcast, a very successful podcast all about women in midlife or at transitions.
Suzy Rosenstein 2:54
Exactly. It’s called, “Women in the Middle, Loving Life After 50.” And it really is about transitions not even thinking that you’re in midlife to going like you got bonked on the head. “Oh my God, I’m in midlife.”
Jillian Leslie 3:08
Yes. We were talking just before we press record about how women have these phases that we go through, especially if we become mothers. And I think that we get so busy with our children, and then all of a sudden they leave and we go, “Wait, what was that?”
Suzy Rosenstein 3:27
Exactly. And it’s like we had 18 years to think about the next phase. Yet, it was such a busy time, where you’re really not putting yourself first, it really does seem to sneak up out of nowhere. And for sure, we don’t have the perspective typically, that we have way more time on the other side of the transition than the 18 years.
Suzy Rosenstein 3:54
If we maintain our health and everything is good we’re going to be a parent of a young adult and then then a parent of an adult for way longer than we had with our kids living at home.
Jillian Leslie 4:09
Let’s go back first of all to you, and start with a little bit about your background because you’ve made transitions as your kids have left and stuff like that. So, will you share how you got to be a mid-life life coach?
Suzy Rosenstein 4:25
Absolutely. And I’ll tell you, it kind of snuck up on me too, in a way and then in another way, I’ve been doing it all my life. It’s so interesting. So, I had the pretty traditional path. I got married, first I went to grad school, I did the whole school thing.
Suzy Rosenstein 4:45
And then I got married in my early 30s had kids and then, I was working for 27 years in the field of health promotion and health education. And the last 19 of those 27 years I was in one specific job in a book publishing department that had to do with health, addiction, mental health related books and materials and resources. And I loved my job. I loved it for a long time.
Noticing Things Aren’t Feeling Right in Your Life
Suzy Rosenstein 4:45
And then, around 14, 15 years in, I started to notice that I just wasn’t content anymore. But in those 19 years, I had three babies. I had three matt leaves, a lot happened, we moved, a lot happened. And yeah, all of a sudden, it seemed like all of a sudden, I just wasn’t content anymore. And I couldn’t figure it out. It was so confusing.
Suzy Rosenstein 5:40
And I realized I was stuck. I wasn’t a midlife coach, nobody was really talking about it the way it’s being talked about now. And I was pushing 50. That’s the other thing. So, I started to think something is happening here, but I don’t know what to do. And I also had my first kid going to university. It’s so obvious now, the first little chick is going to leave the nest. That could be freaky.
Suzy Rosenstein 6:29
Turning 50 can be really, really jarring. Being in a long term job can get old. Because when you’re in a long term job, you’re not always growing. You’re not always challenging yourself. You’re not a beginner that often anymore.
Suzy Rosenstein 6:31
You pride yourself on being there a while I really thought it was great to have longevity. Yet, when I started to think about what this all meant, and deal with some of my feelings, I was really confused. And eventually I realized, oh my god, I think I’m scared to death.
We All Feel Fear When We Make Changes in Our Lives
Suzy Rosenstein 6:43
I didn’t expect fear to be one of the main emotions that came up. I thought it was more boredom. And just not knowing what I wanted to do next career wise. I didn’t put it all together, that I was really in a midlife funk. That’s what I call it. I don’t call it a midlife crisis.
Suzy Rosenstein 6:29
I think it’s just you’re off, highly competent over achieving women who get to a point where it’s just not so clear what the next steps are, what the next chapter is supposed to look like. We’re not even sure what the options are. And then we have these weird feelings where we’re just kind of off.
Jillian Leslie 7:02
And let alone hormones.
Suzy Rosenstein 7:23
Oh yeah, I didn’t even talk about menopause. Menopause was weird, too. And for me, I didn’t have hot flashes or anything. And also, over all those years, when I had my period, I never thought, Oh, I’m having a mood swing. It didn’t really affect me like that.
Suzy Rosenstein 7:42
But boy, when I started to hit perimenopause, I had a few definite mood swings where I was really angry a couple of times, and I could watch myself feel so angry. I’m like, “What is going on here?” I didn’t put it together at all, until I saw my doctor and I figured out I wasn’t perimenopause.
Suzy Rosenstein 8:02
So the whole menopause thing, as I was just describing all of that to you, I wasn’t even thinking about menopause. And menopause is a huge part of it for many people, for sure.
Jillian Leslie 8:02
So, you’re in this job, you’re feeling stuck, what happens?
Suzy Rosenstein 8:18
I got laid off.
Jillian Leslie 8:18
I love it.
Suzy Rosenstein 8:21
And it’s so funny because I fantasized for a long time about getting laid off. What would I do? What would a package look like? If I got laid off would I bump somebody, I was in a union. I didn’t really know what I would do. But I did fantasize about it. I knew what I would do. But I didn’t know how I would feel.
Suzy Rosenstein 8:41
And then I ended up hiring a coach. I didn’t even know what coaching was at that time. I wasn’t listening to podcasts. I didn’t even know what the app did on my phone. If I had a podcast app, I didn’t know anything. So but somebody I knew had started a coaching practice. So I hired her.
Suzy Rosenstein 9:02
And I realized almost immediately that coaching was really powerful. And that it didn’t cross the line at all into anything clinical, it was a different thing. It was really about learning how to be mindful, aware of your thinking and goal setting and figuring out resistance to pursue what it is that you actually want.
Suzy Rosenstein 9:26
And figuring out the feelings that are getting in your own way. So, it’s an understanding.
Jillian Leslie 9:32
It’s kind of like clarity. We’re not going to go into your childhood and look at all your wounds. We’re going to get clear in this moment so that you can have clarity going forward. Would you say that?
LIFE TIP: Think About What it Is You Want and the Limiting Thoughts Holding You Back
Suzy Rosenstein 9:42
You’re really going to think about what it is that you want. And you’re going to get really good at understanding what you’re thinking and noticing how that mindset those thoughts are creating how you feel, so you get better at like understanding where you are in the moment in the time that you’re thinking about and where you want to go.
Suzy Rosenstein 10:07
And then if you’re not open to just pursuing it, then you have to ask yourself why. And that’s where you’re going to find all kinds of self talk and limiting beliefs that keeps you stuck.
Suzy Rosenstein 10:19
So yeah, the pursuit is awareness and clarity about what you want, because one of the biggest regrets that so many people will have is that they just don’t allow themselves to be happy. Well, why why would you not allow yourself to be happy? You have to really think about that.
Jillian Leslie 10:36
You had shared with me previously, some of these limiting thoughts you had. Would you share that? How did you start to discover this? I think you shared two.
Wanting to Lose Weight
Suzy Rosenstein 10:47
It was so shocking. Yes, there are two, there are two big ones. And fortunately, I’ve done enough self work now that I’m not even embarrassed to share them. So, here they are. Here they are, the first one had to do with losing a little bit of weight. So, I wanted to lose weight.
Suzy Rosenstein 11:07
I knew how to do all the things like most people our age, know what to do if they want to lose weight. But then when you don’t lose the weight, why? What’s going on? And so I was talking about what challege came up on me when I wanted to lose 10, 15 pounds.
Suzy Rosenstein 11:24
And I quote, “Well, it’s harder for me to lose weight, because I’m only 4′ 10″. I am only 4′ 10″. I hope that’s not the shocking part of this story. But yeah, I said without batting an eyelash, it’s harder for me to lose weight, because I’m only 4′ 10”. And what I realized, because this coach busted me on that right away, she’s like, “Why do you think that?”
Suzy Rosenstein 11:48
And it never occurred to me that didn’t make sense. And that, in fact, it was a limiting belief. Because I was basically saying, thinking, it’s harder for me to lose weight because I have a genetic defect. Like there’s something getting in my way that’s making it impossible for me to accomplish this goal. But in my mind, I was just stating a fact.
Suzy Rosenstein 12:12
So somehow, I’ve mixed up that when you’re shorter, maybe you hold your weight more in the middle, and it’s harder to lose or like some other experience I had that I was making up, I was making it up. It’s like, oh, other people in my family have difficulty losing a little bit of weight. So I must too, I don’t know what I was doing.
Suzy Rosenstein 12:34
I don’t know where that came from exactly. But I know that I had been short for my whole life. And I know that I’ve been thinking that thought for over four decades.
Jillian Leslie 12:42
How did you change it? What did you say when that thought would come up what would you do?
Suzy Rosenstein 12:47
First, it’s awareness. It’s just even understanding that this thought is present. And understanding what happens like how you feel when you think a thought like that. So, when I would think, well, it’s harder for me to lose weight, because I’m only 4′ 10″. Right away, I would feel hopeless.
Jillian Leslie 13:05
Right. There’s no point trying.
Suzy Rosenstein 13:08
So, I would just feel disconnected from the goal.
Jillian Leslie 13:14
But you’ve already failed. You’ve already failed.
Suzy Rosenstein 13:16
I failed in advance. That’s exactly what happened. But I didn’t even know I was thinking a thought that was creating that for myself. I didn’t even get it at all. I thought well, this is just a fact.
Suzy Rosenstein 13:26
And so when I realized that I was setting myself up to fail immediately with that sort of thought, I can’t practice all kinds of thoughts that made it more possible. I needed to find a thought that created motivation, or some kind of a belief that it was possible.
Suzy Rosenstein 13:45
I didn’t need to think I’m a rockstar, I’m going to lose this weight in a month. I just needed to think something that helped me lean into the goal and support what it was I wanted to do.
LIFE TIP: Use a Bridge Thought
Suzy Rosenstein 13:54
And so, I used a bridge thought. A bridge thought is like a little phrase that you can put on the beginning or someplace in the thought that just makes it more doable. It’s like a baby step.
Suzy Rosenstein 14:04
So for me, it was I’m open to the idea that weight loss isn’t as hard as I thought. And that’s not that challenging to believe I can be open to that idea. And I’m just saying, maybe maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it’s not quite as challenging as I thought.
Suzy Rosenstein 14:25
So when you’re looking for a thought that’s useful. You need to try different thoughts on because you’re looking for that feeling, what feeling is going to help me lean in versus resist to accomplish the goal.
Jillian Leslie 14:39
Can I stop you for a second?
Suzy Rosenstein 14:40
Yes.
Jillian Leslie 14:41
Let’s say I’m listening to this podcast, and I go, “I’m feeling uneasy. And I don’t know why. And I’ve got kids and they’re healthy and whatever. And I’ve got my little problems but in general, like I should be happier than I am.” What is your best way to go I’m sure I’m having these limiting thoughts, but I don’t even know. And I’m too busy.
Jillian Leslie 15:03
How am I going to find that? You had this coach, and you were able to say this to her as if it were, like the truth. And she challenged you on that. And you went, “Whoa, I didn’t even know I had this thought.” So, what is your quick way?
Jillian Leslie 15:18
Like, if my audience is they don’t have money to hire a life coach, they don’t have the time. But they don’t even know what tapes are running in their brains to go, oh, let me identify that. I want to challenge that. I want to question if that’s real. What is your first step in figuring it out?
LIFE TIP: Get Curious About Your Thoughts
Suzy Rosenstein 15:40
The first step, you kind of hinted at it already. It’s being curious, not just believing everything you think. The other thing you pointed out is that this imaginary person picked up on the feeling versus the thought, because she didn’t know what she was thinking. So, there’s a feeling there.
Jillian Leslie 15:57
Like I feel unease, I feel stuck.
Suzy Rosenstein 15:59
Exactly.
Jillian Leslie 16:00
Or I feel bored, or I feel stressed.
Suzy Rosenstein 16:04
Exactly.
Jillian Leslie 16:05
Or I feel inadequate. I don’t know what the purpose is.
Suzy Rosenstein 16:08
When you feel a feeling, you need to know that a thought is creating it. And if you can catch the thought, you need to understand that that thought is creating a feeling. So however, you dive into this little understanding, just know that they’re connected. Thoughts, create feelings, feelings are created by thoughts.
Jillian Leslie 16:30
One thing that I do, and I think I had shared this with you previously, is when I’m feeling stuck, so I have a lot of things to do where I’m juggling a lot. And there are days I wake up and I just go, it’s too much, I can’t do it.
LIFE TIP: Stream of Consciousness Writing
Jillian Leslie 16:44
And when I have that thought, I know to do this exercise where I open up a Google Doc and I do 10 minutes of stream of consciousness writing which I had shared with you. And I let the demons out, I will write the horrible, horrible thoughts that are keeping me stuck that I don’t want to see.
Jillian Leslie 17:03
And it’s horrible like it is that I’m a loser. And nobody loves me. And I’m fat, and I’m not talented and all these things. And I kind of say, alright, you got these voices, I’m going to give you this platform go and I write them. And after about two or three minutes, it start. And by the way, it’s vitriol. It’s lean, it’s horrible.
Jillian Leslie 17:26
But by giving it a place, giving it space, all of a sudden, the narrative starts to shift because I’ve run out like, alright, you said that, and like okay, you said the unsayable. And guess what, I’m still here. And I didn’t die and nothing horrible happen. So, let’s keep going.
Jillian Leslie 17:44
And then eventually, it ends up with my to-do-list of I’ve got to pick up this at the grocery store. And I need to remember to bring the snacks or whatever. And then by the end of it, 10 minutes, I start to get on my own side, weirdly. And go, “Oh you got this.” It starts with like, pick up this at the grocery store.
Jillian Leslie 18:02
And then it goes to here are the things you could do today to push the rock up the hill. And then it’s like, okay, by the end of 10 minutes, it’s like, you got this, it’s alright, you’re cool. Like whatever. And I weirdly watch this pattern. And so, that for me, is how I start to get in touch with what is keeping me stuck.
Jillian Leslie 18:22
And then by the way, I delete the file, like, this is not my diary. This is nothing. This is just me kind of get it out.
Suzy Rosenstein 18:30
Get it out. So, what you’re talking about is a little exercise that helps you find thoughts. And that is really what’s important to do to, you got to find the thoughts because you need to be aware of what is there before you can tweak or make a change or decide that you like your reason.
Suzy Rosenstein 18:52
So, a couple of questions everybody can ask themselves. And you could ask yourself, once you see those thoughts, you would pick one and just be curious about it. And it’s a very simple question. It’s just why. So, why do I feel stuck?
LIFE TIP: Ask Why
Suzy Rosenstein 19:08
You have to trust that you’re going to come up with an answer, even if your answer is going to change or you’ve got a variety of reasons. Why am I feeling unease? Why do I think I should be happier than I am? That thought in and of itself is creating a problem because when you think I should be happier than I am, how do you feel?
Suzy Rosenstein 19:32
It’s not helping your happiness. Maybe you feel sad, or confused, or overwhelmed, versus motivated, capable, confident. So just asking yourself why and if you can’t answer it, then I love what you suggested is just to do like a dump, a thought download. Get it all out but then be curious. Pick one of those thoughts look at it and just play with it a little bit.
Suzy Rosenstein 20:03
And a lot of times just by asking why? It’s all you need, because also to answer the question you need to pause. And most of us aren’t pausing. We think we’re too busy to pause. Or we’re multitasking and we can’t even split up what’s going on because there’s just so much we’re in like a spin.
Suzy Rosenstein 20:23
Another question that’s a really good one to ask is, “What am I making this mean?” Even I should be happier than I am. Why am I thinking that? And then what am I making it mean that I should be happier than I am? Again, it’s just another way to poke around and be curious to see what it is you have to say.
Suzy Rosenstein 20:45
And I think that these two questions will really illuminate a lot for you. But you have to slow down. They’re not complicated questions, A lot of times, it’s not rocket science, you just have to slow down, believe that you have the answers, and be curious. And that really moves forward.
Find Out What Your Personality Says About What Digital Product to Create
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Jillian Leslie 21:45
And now back to the show.
LIFE TIP: Use These Phrases: “I’m open to the opportunity. And I’m learning.”
Suzy Rosenstein 21:49
My two favorite phrases for this are, “I’m open to the opportunity. And I’m learning.” I’m learning. I’m learning. And I have never resisted the idea that I can learn. I feel very competent and confident about my ability to learn.
Suzy Rosenstein 22:09
I know there’s lots of things I don’t know. And I do tend to get freaked out. And we’ll talk about that in a second. But if I’m saying I’m learning, here’s a thought that I use all the time that really helps me, it’s about self care.
Suzy Rosenstein 22:23
And it was suggested to me by a coach and I just said can I use it exactly as you stated it and she said yes. And it’s, “I’m learning to take exceptional care of my body.” And I love this thought, because anytime you feel too rushed, to exercise, to take a walk, to take your makeup off, to to floss your teeth.
Suzy Rosenstein 22:47
To do anything that has to do with self care, to spend time on your hobby to investigate going on a trip that you think will never happen, anything. You just want to think I’m learning to take exceptional care of myself, I’m learning to take exceptional care of my body, whatever works for you.
Suzy Rosenstein 23:09
And I love that I’m learning and I love the idea of exceptional care because it almost gives you permission to do the thing. So many of us it’s so easy to talk ourselves out of what’s in our calendar. And I know we all love calendars, we’ve got planners coming out the Yin Yang, yet are we following the planners?
Suzy Rosenstein 23:29
Are we using them to beat ourselves up about all the crap we’re not doing? So that simple thought I’m learning with exceptional care has really helped me follow through on some of the things I was ready to skip and do something else instead that didn’t have nothing to do with self care.
Jillian Leslie 23:48
It’s putting you front and center that you matter.
Suzy Rosenstein 23:51
Yes.
Jillian Leslie 23:51
You matter.
Suzy Rosenstein 23:52
Yes. Yes. Finally putting yourself first is something that is, I think, for women, a lifelong battle. And one of the things I love about midlife is that many of us do have a break in the action to some degree. Our older kids don’t need us in the same way. They still need you. But it’s not in the same way.
Suzy Rosenstein 24:15
And then when they leave, then you definitely have more opportunity and more flexibility to rearrange your priorities. So I think that’s terrific. Now you did ask me about another one of the stinky thoughts.
Jillian Leslie 24:28
Exactly. And this one is so interesting and speaks to how we met.
Suzy Rosenstein 24:35
Yes. And it speaks to the solution that you’ve been so passionate about providing to people like me.
Jillian Leslie 24:40
Yes. And that I can challenge your narrative. So, will you share the second limiting thought?
Suzy Rosenstein 24:48
Oh, this was so embarrassing, but I’m not embarrassed anymore to share it. But when it happened, I was being coached publicly. And I was taking master coach training and I had to do a final project. And the project that I created was a three part webinar series.
Suzy Rosenstein 25:06
Now, if you’re in on the online space webinars probably don’t freak you out anymore. But for me that just screamed technology. Like the content. I could pull the content together and I could make a PowerPoint, but a registration page, like hooking up all the technology. my head was going to explode.
Suzy Rosenstein 25:26
And so I was getting coaching on why I was procrastinating. So I realized I was procrastinating. I realized I wanted to do the project. I wanted to be successful. I wanted to get this certification. Yet, look at the result, I had nothing. I was procrastinating. And I was freaking myself out about technology.
Limiting Belief: I Suck at Technology
Suzy Rosenstein 25:45
So I realized through this coaching, that I had a thought it was very simple. Again, not rocket science, but it was getting in my way. And it was “I suck at technology.” Wow. And now I’m 59 I had this thought clarity in my earlier 50’s I think it was 52-53.
Suzy Rosenstein 26:04
And at that point, like I’d realized, “Why do I think that? Remember, I’m going to ask myself why? Why do I think that I suck at technology?”
Suzy Rosenstein 26:13
Right away, I went back to something that happened in 1980-1981, in a computer lab in high school with a floppy disk where there was a screw up and I lost data. And since then, for decades now, I’ve been thinking I suck at technology.
Suzy Rosenstein 26:30
And the way that shows up, just like the weight loss example, is I fail in advance. And I think I suck at technology. I feel hopeless again. I feel incompetent.
Suzy Rosenstein 26:44
And I don’t feel incompetent in any other part of my business or life, actually, this one thing made me feel like an idiot, the way I was thinking about it created just a horrible variety of negative emotions for me, that just pulled me back and kept me procrastinating.
Suzy Rosenstein 27:04
I didn’t lean in to do anything that would help me create the goal or the result that I wanted to create for myself, even though it’s so obvious that’s what I wanted.
Jillian Leslie 27:14
I have to stop you here, because you shared this with me. And I had just gotten off two coaching calls with women who have their own businesses, like online businesses. And both of them said to me, “I suck at technology. I suck at technology.”
Jillian Leslie 27:30
And then you said it. And bells went off in my head because I forget about myself as well. And I have technology companies. I think of myself as smart. I have my partner, my husband is a technologist, he can solve anything, he builds all of our tools.
Jillian Leslie 27:53
And so I think to myself, Oh, my God, this is not just you, this is me, these are these women. I’m sure if you’re listening to this episode, you are thinking the same thing about yourself. But because I have David, and he has a whole perspective.
It’s Not You: Technology Sucks!
Jillian Leslie 28:09
He says to me, you don’t suck at technology. We all have our issues. He’s like, but technology doesn’t serve you. And we have it on our whiteboard, which is the words, “Technology is hard.” But it’s hard for everybody.
Jillian Leslie 28:27
How many times have you sent yourself a password reset seven times, because you can’t get into your account. These are basic things. Right now Suzy, we started recording and you’re like, “Oh my God, my, my video isn’t working.” And I’m like, okay, change this or whatever. This is life.
Jillian Leslie 28:44
But one thing though, that David points out all the time, because he’s so immersed in it. Most technology sucks. So, while we as women take it upon ourselves to go, “I suck at technology”, when all of a sudden you can see it from David’s eyes.
Jillian Leslie 29:00
David, it’s not like he doesn’t get tripped up but he knows how to solve it. He’ll be like this is built so horribly, or like most platforms he hates because he knows what good technology looks like and what bad technology looks like what a good interface looks like, what a bad interface looks like.
Jillian Leslie 29:20
So, because of him, he’s empowered me to go, “Wait, this isn’t all my fault. This isn’t that I’m a loser.” It’s not like the technology is right. Maybe the technology sucks. Maybe the way they’re hiding their menus and you have to go here and click here. It’s totally not intuitive.
Jillian Leslie 29:38
And it was so empowering for me to hear this and made us go okay, we’re going to build a platform for women like you where that technology is simple.
Suzy Rosenstein 29:50
I just want to finish this story because what happened today was so interesting when my camera didn’t work because I just used it two hours ago and it was fine. I didn’t touch anything.
Suzy Rosenstein 29:56
What happened today was evidence on how far I’ve come with that thought. I didn’t sweat, my heart didn’t race. I didn’t get all distracted and freaked out.
Jillian Leslie 30:13
Or feel inadequate. Did you feel inadequate?
Suzy Rosenstein 30:15
Nothing like that happened. Nothing like that happened because I have a new thought that I’ve been working on for, I don’t know, seven years now or so. And it’s, I am learning to manage the technology I need for my business.
Suzy Rosenstein 30:31
So again, I’m learning, even though I’m not a wizard at technology, I no longer think I suck, because that thought really didn’t serve me. Honestly, my heart would race before when I couldn’t figure something out if somebody else was waiting on me, but I’m learning.
Suzy Rosenstein 30:50
Again, I know, I can learn and I know I can Google it. My kids are always saying, Mom, just Google it, just Google it. And it’s so right. And then my husband, David is always saying just turn it off and turn it on.
Jillian Leslie 31:03
Oh, my God, I was just going to share that. I was just going to share that. David, my husband, the biggest thing and please, everybody know this, his first thing to me is reboot, reboot. Your phone isn’t working, reboot it, reboot. Your computer, it is shocking how many times that will solve your tech issue.
Suzy Rosenstein 31:25
Between that and Google. It’s pretty good. But with MiloTreeCart I was curious about it.
Getting Started Using MiloTreeCart to Sell Digital Products
Jillian Leslie 31:37
Where did you hear about it? Are you on my email list? How did you know what I was doing?
Suzy Rosenstein 31:42
I’m on your email list. But I don’t remember how I got there. I did see you on Kim Garst YouTube or the Facebook channel her show. But I knew you before that. Oh, I know, you were promoting a webinar about workshop you were promoting a webinar about workshops. But I don’t know where I found that out.
Suzy Rosenstein 32:05
I don’t know if I was on your email list before that. But I purchased it. I attended the workshop, you made an offer that was irresistible, which was if you send me something I will comment in person, I will respond to your question or idea.
Suzy Rosenstein 32:20
And I think you wrote something that we may have hopped on a quick call. I don’t recall that part. But I thought, well, this is interesting. And then I heard you on Kim’s show. And then I got this email talking about this user friendly processing system. And it was interesting, because I didn’t need it.
Suzy Rosenstein 32:40
I do have a guy, I have a website guy. So, anytime I need anything created, he creates things for me. And it’s all custom. And I have payment processing on my website. But I can’t do it myself.
MiloTreeCart is Great for Testing Your Product Ideas
Suzy Rosenstein 32:54
So, I could see when you talked about you can test things. That’s where you really caught my ear. Because sometimes I don’t want to go through creating something, paying somebody to create it and having to make decisions about tabs on my homepage.
Suzy Rosenstein 33:10
I guess I want to test something or just see if this is of interest or just to get some kind of feedback. And so I thought wow, to have like a price point the way it was like this could really solve that problem. But I was worried is this going to be complicated?
Suzy Rosenstein 33:27
And then I attended your free webinar about it. I’m like, well, that lady’s telling me it’s going to be fine. So, I thought, what the heck and I bought it. And I have to say, it was so user friendly. I was so proud of myself, that I got it to work.
Jillian Leslie 33:45
And what did you do with it? What did you do? What is your first product that you set up in MiloTreeCart?
Setting Up a Digital Download in MiloTreeCart
Suzy Rosenstein 33:51
The first product, I just started with something that I thought was very user friendly. So, I have a podcast, and there’s a popular episode about being too busy in midlife. And in that episode, I talked about my mango moment, which is one of my worst, it might be the worst mommy moment I ever had.
Suzy Rosenstein 34:11
When I realized my kid kept talking to me. When he was little he couldn’t handle a knife and he wanted a mango. You know when you have fruit in a bowl and the avocados and the mangoes when they’re finally ripe. It’s like hey, somebody better eat this mango. Somebody better eat that avocado.
Suzy Rosenstein 34:28
So, he wanted a mango and he kept telling me mommy, please cut me a mango cut me a mango and I kept saying no. I felt too busy to cut my kid a mango. Oh, wha wha such a failed mom moment. And I had perspective on it years later, as a life coach when I’m looking for stories to illustrate points.
Suzy Rosenstein 34:50
I’m like, Oh my God. I was too busy. In my mind. The thought I had is I’m too busy. And I realized it was such an important issue to explore with midlife women and with any women who think they’re busy, you really have to think about it.
Suzy Rosenstein 35:07
Anyway. So, I thought that’s a popular episode, let me create a podcast workbook that goes with that episode. So, I went into Canva, I created the workbook. And then I created a sales page, which was so easy.
Jillian Leslie 35:24
On MiloTreeCart.
Suzy Rosenstein 35:25
On MiloTreeCart.
Jillian Leslie 35:26
On MiloTreeCart we have these fill in the blank sales pages.
Suzy Rosenstein 35:30
So easy. You don’t even know what you need to do, because it just walks you through it is such a template, the three benefits of the purchase your little profile picture and your little bio, and just everything a title.
Suzy Rosenstein 35:45
And it’s so user friendly. And there aren’t that many things to decide. You don’t need to decide sizes, you don’t have 50 million colors to choose from. There’s like five or something. It’s just so easy.
Suzy Rosenstein 35:55
So, you’re moving forward, you’re creating momentum, then there’s couple things you have to hook up. You have to hook up Stripe, you have to hook up the bank.
Suzy Rosenstein 36:04
So right away, I’m like, oh, here comes some tech, I have to get two things. I’m like, I’m nervous. I already had Stripe, but I never hooked anything up because my guy does that I never did. Anyway, I’m like, Okay, I’m going to do this. And it’s my big girl moment.
Suzy Rosenstein 36:21
Here’s my thought, I’m learning to manage the technology I need for my business. And it was so easy. I couldn’t believe how easy it was because you even had support in there on what you need to look for when you’re hooking it up to Stripe.
Suzy Rosenstein 36:37
So, I’m like, alright, that part is done. Then I had to hook it up to my email provider. And again, I’m like, oh, oh.
Jillian Leslie 36:43
Is it MailChimp?
Suzy Rosenstein 36:45
Yes, it’s MailChimp. I’m like, oh, oh. There’s one thing I didn’t know how to do and I didn’t want to learn. So I have a VA and I just said, “Can you just make a mailing list and a tag for MiloTree?” And she did that. That was the one thing I didn’t do myself. Not because I couldn’t but because I didn’t, I didn’t want to deal with it.
Suzy Rosenstein 37:03
So she did that. And then she told me when it was done, and I’m like, okay, time for me to hook up MiloTree. So, I clicked and I figured it out. It was so easy. I felt like I could have climbed a mountain. After I did that I was so happy.
Jillian Leslie 37:17
Honestly, that’s the whole purpose. You’ve made my day. Exactly why? Because I want to get you selling, I don’t want you to worry about the technology. We get so freaked out. Like, I need to have my logo.
Jillian Leslie 37:33
It’s like people who obsess about their blogs and how they look and the colors and the logo. And it’s like, no, no, get going. Go see, get yourself in front of your audience to say, do you guys want this? Do you want this? How can I serve you and serve myself at the same time?
Suzy Rosenstein 37:51
Jillian, there was one other spot that was so easy that I really appreciated. So, then I’m like, okay, now I’m going to go back into the summary notes where my podcast is and a blog. And I’m going to go in there, and I’m going to add this link.
Suzy Rosenstein 38:04
And I go into the back end of MiloTree.
Jillian Leslie 38:08
Like your dashboard.
Using MiloTree
Suzy Rosenstein 38:09
And oh, my God, there it is. That is the link to sell. And this is the link to the landing page. And I’m like, or sales page, I forget what you call it. But just that little thing of separating those links out and labeling them was so user friendly. I had so much confidence.
Suzy Rosenstein 38:30
And I knew for this purpose, I need the link, not just the sell link, I need the landing page. So, I’m going to grab that link and then just go put it in. So honestly, I have a sister who writes a blog and I texted her immediately I said you need this. This is edia proof. I can do it.
Jillian Leslie 38:47
I love that. Again, remember, this is so beautiful. This is like warming my heart. Because this, I just want to make your life easy. I want to solve this problem for you.
Suzy Rosenstein 39:02
You did. You did solve the problem.
Jillian Leslie 39:05
Because we got on that call, first call after you signed up for MiloTreeCart and you go, “I don’t need this.” You go, “I bought this, and I have your quote. I just want to a platform I can muck around and I won’t eff it up.”
Jillian Leslie 39:18
And I was like, “My friend go into MiloTreeCart because you cannot break it, go try to break it. Because I promise you can’t and you can’t get yourself.” For me, I have this thing, which is I am afraid to press buttons.
Suzy Rosenstein 39:34
Totally.
Jillian Leslie 39:35
I am afraid where this is going to lead me. And I’m going to mess it up and I’m not going to be able to hen solve it. Whereas my husband is all about press buttons and he has taught my 15-year-old daughter to press buttons. But I have to tell you, I’m scared to press buttons.
Suzy Rosenstein 39:49
Me too.
Jillian Leslie 39:50
My goal as a woman is to empower other women to instead of just growing their audiences and I always say if you have an audience and you are not selling to your audience, you are leaving a bag of money on a table, go grab that bag of money.
Jillian Leslie 40:07
But then they go, “Oh, but to set this up seems so complicated.” And I want to go, “Get that money, go do it and serve your audience at the same time.”
Suzy Rosenstein 40:14
Well, that’s it. Because a lot of times, people need to hear the information another way, or take it deeper with a follow up product. You really are serving your audience deeper.
Suzy Rosenstein 40:27
So, if I have some busy moms who really want to apply the information they heard on the podcast, a workbook is really going to help them do that.
Suzy Rosenstein 40:27
Because you’re going to slow down, you’re going to reflect, you’re not just going to consume a podcast and move on to the next thing.
Suzy Rosenstein 40:42
And like you said, for me, I did just want to muck around like if I have a workshop idea, but I don’t want to incorporate it, or commit to a series or something bigger or pay for something to be created, when I don’t really know if it’s going fly or not, I don’t have to.
Suzy Rosenstein 40:58
This just makes it so easy for me to dip my toe in, when I’m an experiment, and just see, before I make a commitment, and then see what else I want to do with it. But I’m not even able to really think creatively yet about all the ways I can use it. But I think it’s terrific.
Jillian Leslie 41:15
It kind of speaks to what you’re sharing as a life coach. It’s like as your life coach, you’re in there exploring and seeing what resonates for yourself. You have this idea. You have this thought that’s been a limiting belief.
Jillian Leslie 41:31
And you don’t even know and then you have to go in and dig and say, “Is it because of this? Or this? Or how do I change it?” There’s all this experimentation.
Jillian Leslie 41:40
And I feel like when we can take that into our own businesses and be curious, so you go, “I think my audience might want this.” But maybe they don’t, maybe they want it a little bit differently. Or maybe they want a totally different thing.
Jillian Leslie 41:55
But when we can get curious, I feel like that’s when the ideas just start percolating. And there’s so much out there to test and to try. And then we don’t have to take it so personally, when maybe it doesn’t work.
Suzy Rosenstein 42:12
I agree. And this felt like a very easy thing to do. It was very easy for me to create something useful. I put it up for $5, so it’s very accessible. And we’ll just see what happens with it.
Suzy Rosenstein 42:26
And I know just by doing it, I feel so much more confident that I’m able to do this sort of thing. So, how might this work for other things in my business, I know that I’ll be able to come up with so many ways to play with it.
Suzy Rosenstein 42:40
It’s really, really good. And exactly what you said it was easy to use it. It is easy to use.
Suzy Rosenstein 42:33
When you don’t think that you’re able to do something like this, you can do something like this. It really was easy to use. I have never hooked up anything technology speaking like that before. And you helped me.
Jillian Leslie 42:58
Thank you. Honestly, thank you.
Suzy Rosenstein 43:00
So, good.
Jillian Leslie 43:01
Thank you. And again, remember everybody, technology is hard. Yes, I suck at it. But so does everybody.
Suzy Rosenstein 43:07
Other thing that’s so interesting about that “I suck thought” that is so popular with so many of us is really think about what you’re saying, is it all technology? You’re interpreting something, it’s not all technology, you can probably drive a car, that’s pretty complex.
Suzy Rosenstein 43:25
You make food in your oven, that’s technology. You know how to make your coffee in the morning.
Jillian Leslie 43:34
You get to Netflix.
Suzy Rosenstein 43:36
So, when I realized when I was doing it with the webinar, what I was really referring to was I don’t yet understand how to work this webinar software. But I interpreted that I suck at all technology.
Suzy Rosenstein 43:55
If I wouldn’t have had this thought dialed in today, when my webcam didn’t go on, it would be I suck at technology. No. What’s really happening is my webcam isn’t working. And I don’t know how to fix it yet.
Jillian Leslie 44:08
I love that.
Suzy Rosenstein 44:08
Yet is another thing to add on to sentences, thoughts that can really help you because I know I’ll figure this webcam thing out. I’m going to unplug it; I am going to Google it. And I’m going to go into settings. And it’s probably one of those things.
Jillian Leslie 44:11
And I would say reboot, reboot.
Suzy Rosenstein 44:27
Right and reboot. So, I’m learning to manage the technology I need for my business. And today it’s a webcam.
Jillian Leslie 44:33
I think that is so powerful. I really do. I just feel like you are such a lovely teacher. And if people want to learn from you, how can they do that? And then I also would love you to share your best thing to help women get unstuck.
Jillian Leslie 44:56
Would you share how they can learn from you and then if there is a way to synthesize your message for somebody listening to this in the car, who’s busy, who feels crazed what would that be as well? So, start with how they can learn about how they can do that.
Suzy Rosenstein 45:10
So, the first thing to do, I would say is check out the podcast. So, it’s “Women in the Middle: Loving Life After 50.” You don’t need to be 50.
Suzy Rosenstein 45:23
But the examples in everything I use are midlife related age and stage. So, for many women, it’s 40 to 65, 70. That’s a range depending on what’s going on for you.
Suzy Rosenstein 45:35
So, check it out, you can find it on any podcast app, iTunes, Spotify, you can go to my website, suzyrosenstein.com. And you can find it there as well.
Suzy Rosenstein 45:44
Also, I have a freebie. It’s called “10 Top Questions to Reimagine Your Life After 50.” And you can access that at www.suzyrosenstein.com/10 questions.
Suzy Rosenstein 45:58
You can also check out the MiloTreeCart product that I just put up, which is the workbook for the Podcast, Episode 255. So, if you go to iTunes, or any place you listen to the podcast and look up Episode 255, you’ll get the show notes.
Suzy Rosenstein 46:17
And in the show notes, there’s a link to get the podcast episode.
Jillian Leslie 46:23
Before you continue with your wisdom, don’t you feel though, like we were talking about this previously, as women, I’m not sure we’re prepped for what’s coming.
Jillian Leslie 46:49
Before I had a child, I had no idea, people would try and tell me what it was like. But to be honest with you, I felt like I had jumped into the deep end without knowing how to swim. And as I’m going through, menopause and all of this I don’t know what to expect.
Jillian Leslie 47:03
And nobody told me how I would be thinking or feeling or night sweats or anything like that.
Jillian Leslie 47:12
Do you think listening to your podcast is a good way to get a sense of what the stages are for women. What we should expect. Maybe I couldn’t have heard it at the time. But I wish I knew more.
Suzy Rosenstein 47:28
Yes, that’s great. And I forgot to mention my blog, when you can, it’s called Women in the Middle blog, and you can get it on my website, there’s a tab.
Suzy Rosenstein 47:37
So, I think that’s exactly what my podcast is about. And my blog, it’s all my content, I teach a program called, The Women in the Middle Academy, I have the Women in the Middle blog, the Women in the Middle podcast, and it’s all based on a framework.
Suzy Rosenstein 47:55
And this idea that there are some major areas of your life that you’re going to want to be more intentional about.
Suzy Rosenstein 48:03
And those three areas are relationships, your professional contribution, the way you show up in the world professionally, and self-care, however you define it.
Suzy Rosenstein 48:14
I’m thinking about it more as how you take care of yourself, emotionally, physically, spiritually, what lights you up, passion, projects, hobbies, all the things, including how you take care of yourself in the more traditional ways.
Suzy Rosenstein 48:29
And so, the idea is to be open to the idea that it is a transition. And that you probably have some beliefs that you need to work on understanding about aging, and what’s possible for you that could get in your way.
Suzy Rosenstein 48:43
So, I think just really thinking about it as a transition. And appreciate that it is a transition. If you think back to when you have babies. Nobody told me that I was going to start to imagine my infant as a barracuda when I was breastfeeding.
Suzy Rosenstein 48:58
Nobody told me that when you’re buying your first home or settling in your first home, it’s a whole transition of what it costs and what it takes to establish that and what your decor is like and where you prioritize spending money.
Suzy Rosenstein 49:16
At every phase of life it’s a transition. And now in midlife, your kids might be moving toward leaving the house, you might be in a long-term relationship, or maybe you’re single for the first time in your life.
Suzy Rosenstein 49:29
And since as an adult, maybe you’re thinking about retirement, maybe you’re an entrepreneur for the first time. There’s lots of transitions and also menopause. There are things that happen in menopause, there are changes.
Suzy Rosenstein 49:43
So, I think just knowing that it is a transition and I’m not an expert in human development, but I have done some reading about it and midlife isn’t the last stage.
Suzy Rosenstein 49:55
There’s another stage and there are several ways this is defined. But there’s another stage of becoming, senior which is not when you start to get discounts. It’s later than that.
Suzy Rosenstein 50:08
Although I did get a discount recently, and I was a little taken aback, like, wow, I guess that’s happening now. So, that’s really what I think you need to do is just appreciate that it’s a transition and check your thinking, because you can think about it as a downhill slide to the end.
Suzy Rosenstein 50:28
Or you can think about it as a phase of unbelievable opportunity that you never saw coming.
Jillian Leslie 50:35
Suzy, that is so inspiring. And I just love talking to you. And I feel like you share so much wisdom. I just want to say, thank you so much for being my friend, and for coming on the show.
Suzy Rosenstein 50:50
Thank you so much for having me. I had a really great time, and I can’t wait to sell more stuff and help more people.
Jillian Leslie 50:56
Sell more stuff. Awesome. Well, thank you.
Jillian Leslie 51:00
I hope you guys like this episode. It’s so funny. When I got on the call with Suzy. I thought we’d be talking about how she has built her business and all of her programs and her funnels.
Jillian Leslie 51:10
And instead, we started talking about limiting beliefs. And I was like, Ooh, this is super interesting. This is what I need to hear right now. And hopefully, you guys need to hear it too.
Jillian Leslie 51:22
I also felt really happy that through MiloTreeCarts, Suzy felt empowered, especially when it came to technology.
Jillian Leslie 51:28
If you missed my Black Friday special, just email me at jillian@milotree.com and let me know and I will see what I can do for you.
Jillian Leslie 51:39
And I will see you here again next week.
Other related Blogger Genius Podcast episodes you’ll enjoy:
- How to Overcome Negative Self-Talk with Laura Fuentes
- Are Limiting Beliefs and Imposer Syndrome Holding You Back with Maria Conde
- The Perfection of B- Work and How to Get Stuff Done solo episode with Jillian Leslie
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