#214: These 3 Things Are Keeping You Stuck

Today, I’m posting a solo episode where I share the 3 things that are keeping you stuck and how to get unstuck.

I’ve been working with female entrepreneurs very closely these last few weeks, helping them set up paid workshops using MiloTree Easy Payments, and I keep seeing these same destructive patterns.

I needed to talk about them because I suffer from these metal blocks as well.

The three limiting beliefs I’m seeing over and over again are:

  • Perfection
  • Imposter syndrome
  • Fear of the future

I share about each one, and share strategies I use in my own life to deal with them.

If this episode resonates with you, please reach out and let me know. I’d love to hear how you deal with these beliefs as well.

Show Notes:

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illian Leslie 0:04
Welcome to the Blogger Genius Podcast brought to you by MiloTree. Here’s your host, Jillian Leslie.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Blogger Genius Podcast, I’m recording this solo episode, because I have insights I want to share that hopefully make you feel less alone as an entrepreneur.

Just to give you some backstory, I have been working one-on-one with a bunch of bloggers and entrepreneurs to help them set up paid workshops. So, a paid workshop is where you show up for an hour on Zoom, let’s say.

Maybe you charge something like $25 per person, and you teach them something simple in an hour. I call it a quick win workshop; teach them something simple, you give them a win a tangible “win” at the end.

They feel good, you feel good, you’ve learned a lot, they have learned directly from you, it’s really casual. It’s easy to put together, but it’s very impactful. And I like to say it is a fantastic building block to build an entire business off of this.

And the value is that you get to go directly to your audience to monetize what you know, and build this stronger relationship. And you’re less dependent on platforms like Instagram to monetize. But it’s interesting…

So, I’m working with these women. And as I preach, build your products directly with your customers, I’m taking my own advice. And I’m building it with their input. So I’m walking them through the platform and figuring out where they are struggling.

And this is why I always say if you can get on a call with your biggest fans, you should, because you want to hear their side of it. How are they consuming it?

What you’re putting out there? What are they continuing to struggle with? And how can you further build that relationship?

These 3 Things Are Keeping You Stuck as a Female Entrepreneur

So, I’m sitting here focused on the platform, but what I am seeing are three insights that I had to share with you that I think we all struggle with. So, I’m working only with women right now. So, I’m going to speak from that perspective.

But the first thing that holds us all back is the idea of perfection. I did a previous podcast where I talked about the concept of B- work. And I am such a believer in this. And I get so much feedback from people that it has been a game changer for them.

So briefly, David and I, my husband and partner and I were leading a workshop. And I was saying that perfection is the death of us. And therefore I was giving homework and I said but I don’t want this to be A-level work. In fact, I want it to be B-level work.

Why You Want to Strive for B- Work

And then I thought about it for a second. And I said, “No, no, I want it to be B- level work.” So what I’m trying to do is lower the bar. And remember, B- is above average. I’m not saying do a crappy job. But I am saying do something that is doable.

And it’s really interesting because this concept not only resonated with me immediately it resonated with them. And I continue to hear from people.

In fact, somebody I was on a call with yesterday who said, “I love your podcast. And what was a game changer for me was doing B- work because I can do B- work.” And I shared in my previous podcast that I am a recovering insecure overachiever.

And I’d be horrified if I got a B- on a test. However, I find it so freeing and I actually have a post-it on my computer that says B- work every day. So, I need to be reminded of this because I get caught up in my own head and about struggling with perfection.

But as I dug deeper into it, what I realized is it’s also fear of embarrassment. It’s fear of being judged. And at its core, I think its fear of the love going away. As I was able to explore each of these concepts and really shine the light on them.

I realize that this is just destructive thinking especially as an entrepreneur, there’s no way you can be a perfectionist and be a successful entrepreneur and make money. It’s not possible.

And I think because I need to put food on my table. I’ve had to really struggle with this. And there are times I kind of squint when I press publish or I do cringe, like, “Oh, I’m not sure. I think people are really going to judge me on this one.”

Truth is, nobody is really focused on me and the way that I am focused on myself. So, so far, it worked just by putting it out there with like a slight cringe. But what’s interesting is as I am talking to these creators, they struggle with it, too. They find it paralyzing.

And we continue to talk about B- work. And what’s interesting too is, I can see stuff in them that I have a hard time seeing in myself. And so it’s like, I seem really insightful but it’s not that I’m not struggling with all of these concepts.

We All Struggle with Imposter Syndrome

So, the second thing I continue to see these women struggle with, and I struggle with myself is imposter syndrome. So, what I say is, hey, you can take your expertise, and you can sell it to your audience directly build this close relationship.

What are you an expert in? And they turn to me, and they say, “I’m not an expert in anything.” And I say, “Okay, what do you know about that people might not know about? Where are you just a step ahead, maybe two steps ahead of your audience?”

And then we can start to find where they are an expert with a small ‘e’. But it is amazing the amount of imposter syndrome they feel and don’t think I don’t feel it as well. I was talking to this woman today.

And she has a food blog, and it’s healthy food blog, and she’s a nutritionist, and she wants to do a paid workshop where she helps people get healthier. And she said, “But I feel like an imposter.”

And so, we went to her sales page that we were able to create very quickly in MiloTree Easy Payments. And I started reading her bio back to her.

And I said, “Hey, what do you think? Would you want to learn from this person? Do you think this person knows what she’s talking about?” And she’s like, “Yes.” And I said, “Hmm.” Sometimes we have to step out of ourselves to see our knowledge.

Because we’re on the inside. So, it’s like everybody knows this. And the truth is no, not everybody knows this. And the way that I think about imposter syndrome is to get out of ourselves.

I think about this for myself, which is, if I can help somebody with the knowledge that I have helped them on their journey. Hmm, I’ve just backed into being some sort of expert, and that it’s not really about me.

It’s like maybe I have an obligation to put it out there so that I can help others. And then I don’t have to think about am I really an expert? Am I not an expert? Can I help one person? And if the answer is yes, then boom, I’ve got something that I can teach.

But I want you to know if you’re sitting there going, “Oh, well, I’m the only one who struggles from imposter syndrome.” Trust me, we all do across the board. And I’m sitting here, hoping that my platform works well, and seeing how people fill things out.

And what I realized is, that’s all great. But really, it is about me shining the light on them and saying, “You’ve got this, you can do this.”

We All Fear the Unknown and What’s Ahead

So, this brings me to my third realization of things that we all struggle with. But we don’t know that we’re all struggling with this is fear of the unknown. So I’m saying, “Hey, how about you set up this paid workshop?”

And there is so much overwhelm, because me saying this. It now brings in the future. But what will this be to set up? And how much work is going to be and what is it going to lead to? And what if nobody shows up?

And it is like we are four miles down the road. So, I want to take the first step. And we have now catapulted into the future. And the future is uncertain, and how it’s so overwhelming, and how will I be able to do this.

And so I am constantly bringing everybody back to this moment. And all I am saying is, you are going to jump into the unknown, meaning you’re going to put it out there easily. So, I’m going to make it so easy for you to put this out there.

And then you’re going to see, and I don’t know, I don’t know how it’s going to turn out. And I don’t know what you’re going to be able to build off of it and what you’re going to learn but I promise you there will be learning. And we’re just going to go piece by piece.

And for many people, this is terrifying. It’s both terrifying and relieving. It is terrifying, because I can’t tell them the future. It is relieving because they don’t have to have the future figured out.

And all I’m asking for is okay, what are three things, three teaching points that you can share in an hour. So, it’s like there’s a push-pull. But what I say is, trust me and trust yourself.

And I’m excited to see what you learn and just by changing the framing of that I can feel their shoulders drop and we can all take a breath. So as an entrepreneur, I think it is about getting more comfortable with discomfort. The discomfort of not knowing.

And the truth of the matter is life is like that we want guarantees, and there are no guarantees. Well, there are no guarantees in our businesses. What’s good about that is you don’t have to have a five-year plan.

All you need to know is what the next step is, and then the step after that, and you will figure it out. So I want to share though, what I think is a possible antidote to perfection, to imposter syndrome, and to not knowing to fear of the unknown.

Grace Is the Antidote to Our Fears and Struggles

And it’s an idea that many of you are familiar with. But for those of you who are not, I want to put it out there and it is called grace. And it is grace toward ourselves.

And I like to think about it as maybe your wise older sister who loves you, and knows what you can do and what you’re going to do. What I do is I invite grace to sit with me, because grace softens everything.

So, when I’m freaking out about perfection and feeling so inadequate, it’s that little voice that says, “No, you just keep going, it’s okay. It’s B-, and it’s okay. And you’re going to move your business forward.”

It’s grace, that when I’m feeling like a big imposter says, you know what, you’re not such an imposter, you know stuff. You do, you can help others with what you know. And it’s grace that shows up when I’m freaked out about not having a plan.

And I don’t know how things are going to work out who says just take it one step at a time. I think being an entrepreneur can be a really lonely endeavor. And I don’t always think that being up in our heads is such an easy place to be.

And I think, though, that asking for grace for ourselves, can create a little bit of space where things become much more possible.

I hope these insights are helpful, because I can give you so many strategies for email marketing, SEO, social media. But if we don’t acknowledge these deeper things that hold us back, it doesn’t matter because this is the stuff that keeps you in the game.

If you can work on this stuff. This will propel you forward because it is all about consistency and it is all about showing up.

So, if this resonates with you, please reach out to me at jillian@milotree.com and let me know what other kinds of episodes like this I could record. Also, if you would like to work with me one-on-one for free to set up a paid workshop. I would love it.

I am having so much fun, just being part of people’s successes and giving them a whole new way to think about monetizing their businesses.

So, if that seems interesting to you, again, reach out to me at jillian@milotree.com and I will see you here again next week.

Other Blogger Genius Podcast episodes to listen to:

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